Today’s topic for #BEDM is “Out of your comfort zone”. So I thought I would do something that scares me.
This is what my face looks like to the outside world. And it’s what it used to look like every day when I woke up, until I turned 22. For the last 6 years, I went from being someone who barely ever wore make up and scoffed at those who said they couldn’t leave the house without wearing it, to becoming one of them.
And that is because the majority of days when I get up, I am faced with the below in the mirror. I don’t know what caused it and no matter what I have tried all these years, nothing seems to work. My face is like an angry teenager.
Ironically, my skin wasn’t bad at all when I was a teen. I would get spots but nothing like this. And from the ages of 18 to 21 my skin was flawless. The majority of the blemishes that are now on my face don’t even have heads or become spots, they’re just angry red blotches.
At first I thought it was because I did a lot of work with my hands so maybe I was getting my face dirty, it wasn’t that. I changed my diet, I tried creams, pills, and nothing seems to work. All I can say is that I’m thankful to have the makeup that I have on hand that allows me to go out of the house with some degree of confidence. Never again will I judge someone for being reliant on makeup. I know how they feel.
In comparison to the bad days, the good day’s are so much better. It just looks like I have rosy cheeks until you get up close so luckily it’s not that bad all of the time.
Maybe one day my face will clear up and maybe it won’t but the one good thing that’s come out of it is that I care less of how I look now, if that makes any sense. I’m not too afraid to show people this face, at least people I know (and a bunch of strangers on the internet).
I’m quite thankful in fact that this is the biggest problem in my life at the moment. There are plenty of people out there who have way bigger problems than this and I have a good life. I have a fiancé who looks at me without makeup every day and still loves me, I have great friends and family, I have no big health problems and I have a roof over my head. That’s a lot to be thankful for.
So for anyone else who looks in the mirror and doesn’t like what they see, my advice is to just look for all the good things in your life and after a while it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. I do have good days and bad days but throughout all that, makeup is always there for me if it gets too much. That and Topher, thank you for being there for me.