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Going With The Flow

I love lists. I love everything about them. I like to make them and I love to tick individual items off them. Since I started my bullet journal back in April this year I’ve noticed my productivity soar. I haven’t felt as lost and I feel like I’m finally achieving some balance in my life.

Before I went self-employed I was always so tired after work that I barely got anything done. All the other aspects of my life felt like a chore and I felt bad for myself when I took a day to just relax and watch Netflix. Guilt was a regular feeling for me. Guilt for not tidying the kitchen, for not vacuuming, not blogging, not going into town to run errands and all the other bits and pieces that makes up an adult life. My lists were often made but unchecked off and I felt lazy even if I was getting a lot done. It just never felt like enough.

So starting the bullet journal made me feel great. I was getting things done and actually moving forward with projects that had been left on the back burner for so long. But once in awhile I would have a bad day and little to nothing would get checked off that day’s list. And the guilt would return. I really didn’t want to feel this way. It’s not like I was disappointing anyone but myself. Client work would always get done one way or another so it’s literally just things for the house and myself that wouldn’t get done. Why was I beating myself up about it?

Last Friday I was sick. I barely left my bed. Literally nothing got ticked off my list that day. But for the fist time in awhile, I didn’t feel bad about it. I didn’t even think to feel guilty which I’m really proud of. I had no client work due that day, only a blog post and a bunch of cleaning/errand tasks along with a couple of things I wanted to get done for my new business venture. And usually I go into town to attend Freelance Friday. But I realised that there was no point in feeling bad about those tasks not getting done. Sure I didn’t blog that day and I just so happened to lose a blog follower too but is it really the end of the world? No.

So from now on, I’m going to take a leaf out of that book and I’m going to cut myself some slack. It may not get done today, but as long as it gets done at some point, that’s all that matters. No one’s perfect and it’s a waste of time trying to be. Some day’s you’re on it and some days you’re just not. So just go with the flow.

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